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The Test of Time Posts

Episode 190: Heavyweights (1995)

A group of overweight children, stuck at the world’s worst fat camp, fight back against their nasty head counselor.

This week, we talk about the basics of videotape making, the wrong kind of bankruptcy, and why learning that a tomato is a fruit doesn’t help you slim down. We also geek out about Super Nintendo World (coming to Orlando in 2023!) before deciding if 1995’s Heavyweights stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 189: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

A young FBI trainee teams up with a serial killer to stop a different serial killer from… you know… serial killing.

In our least romantic Valentine’s Day episode yet, special guest Courtney Noah joins us to discuss the sound Chianti makes, the sex tape that ruined night vision, and how a guy who sends a traumatized kid to an orphanage is still considered “decent.” It puts the lotion in the basket as it finds out if The Silence of the Lambs stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 188: Teen Wolf (1985)

A high school nobody becomes a popular athlete after he transforms into a werewolf. So relatable.

Special guest Lauren Miller joins us as we chat about this movie’s terrible character names, ridiculously old students, and infamous — and false — urban legend about a flasher. James says something that could get us sued, Alan confesses to being super lame in high school, and we all find out if 1985’s Teen Wolf stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 187: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

Two friends just want to get high and eat fast food burgers, but their plans are interrupted by hillbilly swingers, racist cops, and a horny Neil Patrick Harris.

Special guest Samantha Noah joins us to discuss the Ethan Embry fan club, our favorite love montages, and the benefits of authentic diarrhea sounds. Then we find out if Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 186: Bad Boys II (2003)

Mike and Marcus are back and badder than ever as they take on the Cuban cartel.

This week, special guest Aaron Neuman joins us to discuss unrealistic tunnel digging, dads who intimidate their daughters’ dates, and how powerful C-4 really is. We also predict which movies will dominate the 2020 box office before finding out if Bad Boys II stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 185: Bad Boys (1995)

Two Miami cops have to track down $100 million dollars worth of heroin… and not kill each other in the process.

This week, special guest Aaron Neuman joins us to talk about what this movie has in common with Baywatch, scenes that are literally high octane, and what Michael Bay completists really should be doing with their lives. We also share our mixed feelings about Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker before finding out if Bad Boys stands the Test of Time. 

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Episode 184: In the Line of Fire (1993)

A Secret Service agent who failed to protect JFK tries to stop a would-be Presidential assassin thirty years later.

This week, we talk about the guys at the carnival who guess your weight, why you shouldn’t tie up a dog inside your house, and how James watches TV like an old man. We also discuss 2019’s franchise reboot bombs before finding out if In the Line of Fire stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 183: Turner & Hooch (1989)

A detective in a small town investigates a murder, where the only witness is a giant, slobbering dog.

This week, we talk about an off-brand Lea Thompson, if a dog on a catwalk is ironic, and why every movie needs more Reginald VelJohnson running in slow motion. We also discuss the demise of GameStop before finding out if Turner & Hooch stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 182: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

A cruise ship capsizes, and a handful of passengers do all they can to survive.

This week, we discuss climbing Christmas trees in high heels, movies that make you hold your breath, and where to pee on a sinking ship (spoiler alert: you can pee anywhere.) We also discuss 2019’s billion dollar blockbusters before finding out if The Poseidon Adventure stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 181: Return of the Jedi (1983)

The Empire’s built a second Death Star, but Luke, Leia, and Han are on a mission to restore peace to the galaxy… with some help from the adorable Ewoks (the cutest creatures this side of Baby Yoda!)

This week, we talk about what Leia has in common with Moses, the Empire’s terrible dental plan, and how Jabba’s pet rancor was just living its truth. Then we find out if Return of the Jedi stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 180: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Darth Vader and the evil Empire make life unpleasant for our heroes. Luke loses his hand, Han becomes a wall ornament, and Leia kisses her brother on the mouth. (OK, that’s not Vader’s fault, but still…)

This week, we talk about the curious biology of mynocks, the intergalactic equivalent of cell phone reception, and how Darth Vader relaxes after a long day. We also debate the pros and cons of giving in to angry fans, then we discuss all the reasons why The Empire Strikes Back stands the Test of Time.

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Episode 179: Star Wars (1977)

A farm boy, a princess, and a scoundrel team up to save the galaxy in what just might be the most influential movie ever made.

The force is with us as we talk about the Jawas’ business model, if space lasers count as ammo, and an absolutely awful idea for a Disney+ show. This *is* the podcast you’re looking for as we discuss the many reasons why 1977’s Star Wars stands the Test of Time. 

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Episode 178: Cool as Ice (1991)

A “rapper” tries to romance a small town girl. But they’re very different people: she’s a college-bound honor student, and he’s… Vanilla Ice.

This week, we talk about flying silent motorcycles, inspirational messages to stay in school, and how to pronounce Stüssy. This garbage movie DEFINITELY doesn’t stand the Test of Time, but listen anyway as we make fun of 1991’s Cool as Ice.

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Episode 177: A Bronx Tale (1993)

A young man growing up in the Bronx learns about life and love from his best friend, who also happens to be a Mafia boss. 

This week, we discuss where to get great Italian food in New York City, the worst ways to die, and James’ good friend Bobby De Niro. We also share our thoughts on digital de-aging before finding out if 1993’s A Bronx Tale stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 176: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

A man who’s afraid of commitment finally meets the woman of his dreams. Unfortunately, she might also be a cold-blooded killer.

This week, we talk about post-coital room service, giving haggis a try, and the people who actually believe tabloids. We also discuss this year’s box office record-breakers before finding out if So I Married an Axe Murderer stands the Test of Time.


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Episode 175: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

A good terminator, who looks a lot like the evil terminator from the first movie, protects a young John Connor from an advanced killing machine.

This week, special guest Bill Belitsky joins us to discuss fractions of casualties, why you shouldn’t hide security guards in men’s bathrooms, and the two times guns and roses are in this movie. Then we find out if Terminator 2: Judgment Day stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 174: The Terminator (1984)

A relentless robot is sent back through time to kill a woman whose unborn son will fight the machines in the future.

This week, special guest Bill Belitsky joins us to discuss terminator teeth, dating in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, and if cyborgs use contractions. We also discuss our plans for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker before finding out if 1984’s The Terminator stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 173: The Shining (1980)

A man agrees to take care of an empty hotel over the winter. Unfortunately, the isolation and some vengeful spirits drive him totally insane.

In our annual Halloween episode, we discuss proper murder attire, how many bodies it takes to fill an elevator with blood, and the very specific instance when it still makes sense to use a CB radio. Then we find out if The Shining stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 172: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Two socially inept stoners go on a cross-country road trip to stop a movie from being made, just so they won’t be made fun of online.

Special guests Marisa Pincas and Dominic Monfre join us as we discuss our favorite George Carlin routines, describe the many faces of James Van Der Beek, and offer a heartfelt apology to this movie’s key grip. We also share some big news about Nick’s Marathon before finding out if Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 171: Fight Club (1999)

A bored insomniac and a mysterious stranger start a violent underground club, where men beat the living crap out of each other to feel alive.

Returning special guest Adam Pincas joins us to talk about the ultimate Joker origin story, this movie’s Regina George, and who else could have played Tyler Durden. Then we find out if 1999’s Fight Club stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 170: “10” (1979)

Dudley Moore plays a man having an epic midlife crisis, who leaves his longtime girlfriend and pursues a beautiful woman half his age.

As James and Alan both turn 40 (!), we discuss how a movie can score perfect placement at Blockbuster Video, why some people hate Anne Hathaway, and Attila the Hun’s views on the Second Amendment. We also share our thoughts on how getting older affects attitudes, sleep, and eating Popeyes, all before finding out if the 1979 movie “10” stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 169: Rambo III (1988)

Rambo returns, this time to save his friend from evil Russian forces in Afghanistan.

As we wrap up our Rambo trilogy, we talk about the history of glow sticks, Afghanis who know what’s in American newspapers but have never heard of football, and James gives some pretty irresponsible medical advice. We also discuss the oeuvre of Sylvester Stallone before finding out if Rambo III stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 168: Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

John Rambo faces his past as he heads back into Vietnam to rescue American prisoners of war.

This week, we talk about pirate literacy, how the Olympics can make you feel old, and this movie’s coolest—and lamest—kills. We also discuss playing Super Nintendo games on the Switch before finding out if Rambo: First Blood Part II stands the Test of Time.



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Episode 167: First Blood (1982)

A Vietnam veteran just wants to be left alone, but when he’s terrorized by a group of brutal police officers, he brings the war to a sleepy American town.
This week, we talk about Dennis Franz’s butt, how you order body bags, and what would happen if Rambo worked in a mall. Then we find out if 1982’s First Blood stands the Test of Time.


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